I started keeping a journal. So what, you might say? You see I've always wanted to do that. I have read about people faithfully journalizing and I thought, "How wonderful. Putting your thoughts on paper to look over." Then I read about someone leaving this as a legacy for their children and grandchildren. Wow!! Wouldn't that be great? I could picture the family gathering to read these marvelous words of wisdom , after my death of course. But, I couldn't seem to keep writing. I started many times. I bought beautiful journals, hoping to inspire me of course. I ended up using them for scrap paper. So what happened? Why can I now keep a journal? It has been over a month now. This is great!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all JOY and peace in BELIEVING,
so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13 (NASB) Capitalization mine.

My journal starts with this Scripture. God of hope. Isn't that beautiful? He is the source of all hope. Without hope I have nothing. But hope in what, in whom? Hope in Jesus. Hope and trust in all that He is and all that He promises. I had to ask myself do I really believe in all that He says in His Word. If I do, then why do I get anxious. After all, He says He will never leave me and never forsake me. He says my life is worth more than birds whom He feeds and takes care of. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.

All joy and peace in believing. Oh, I see. I receive this joy and peace in believing in Him. He is awesome. What goes wrong throughout the day? I start my day with Him, oh but wait. Sometimes I find myself trusting in my devotions. Really. Have you ever felt good after morning prayer and reading? Like you were really prepared for anything? But then, well you know, something unexpected happens, the children, the dog, the bills, the migraine (do you get these , too?). I find myself depressed. My trust, I discovered, was not in Jesus, but in my devotions. How did I miss that? Blind I guess. But, Jesus. Awe, but, Jesus. He gently reminds me that He is there. My faith in Him, there's the believing part, is what sustains me. Yes, I trusted Him to forgive my sins, but do I trust Him for His unending supply of Grace? Satan comes and snatches the Word from my heart. Oh, help me to trust you more, Jesus.

When I start my day now, I don't stop until I find this joy and peace in believing. You see, He must be my Joy. I must find Him more satisfying than anything on earth. I have a long way to go. You, too? But He is faithful, and has the power to present me faultless and blameless before His throne. What hope that gives me. What joy! Even when I blow it, I know that He still loves me. He fills me with hope that I can get through each day, that I will spend eternity with Him.

Perhaps I can keep a journal now because He has given me something to write. It is His timing. So write as He leads, and live as He plans.