To Italy and Back

by Elizabeth Fabiani Higgins –

“May God touch you in an awesome way. May your soul be impacted in a way you would never expect. May your time in Italy be a spiritual pilgrimage and may you come back alive with all your body parts intact!!!”  

This was Janel’s prayer for me on departure for my trip to Italy.

It was a great time. Spiritual moments were rare though. There just wasn’t enough time. I had a few “Italian Moments” though. They can be defined as being a moment that typifies Italian culture so much it makes you either cry or laugh.

My first day back from Italy I was wide awake at 3:30 am. By 4:30 I figured I might as well get up and start doing the laundry. All week it was as though I was living in the New Jersey, but my body still thought it was on Italian time. I had half the day’s work done by 9:25 am. I didn’t know what to with myself. I was at the end of my “extra” week in Italy. Spiritual renewal was staring me in the face, tapping its foot on having to wait so long.

The Thursday after I returned to the states, I was to meet a friend at 6pm to hear a swing band in Philadelphia. Traveling down the road just seconds away from our meeting point, an oncoming car was headed right toward me. I had no where else to go, but up a curb and on to someone’s lawn. He still hit me. The police came. The tow trucks came. The other driver was arrested for driving with a suspended license and possibly a DUI. The owner of the “lawn” told me that a month ago he cut down a tree. The tree had been in the exact spot where I drove up the curb.

You would think a brush with death would be enough to arouse a spiritual renewal. Apparently, it was not. Two days later my boyfriend and I fought and broke up. At the bottom of all this I had been praying about where to work in September. In the middle of July, there was more uncertainty in my life than ever before.

I use to be able to say, “Well at least I have my car.”  I had no car, no boyfriend, no job, and no idea for a job if I couldn’t get a new car. I was left with nothing, but a potential for spiritual renewal. I was hoping for some breakthrough in my life, something good to come out of all this nonsense. I didn’t want to be depressed about it. It was a fight not to get depressed. God had a plan and I had to learn not to fear that.

God wanted me to catch hold of the vision He has for me. Maybe I was distracted and missing it so I had to lose a lot to gain more. Maybe all this was just part of the plan. In July I my thoughts were, “It’s Sunday afternoon and I am usually with him and I don’t know quite what to do with myself right now. One thing is for sure I am home from Italy and all my body parts are intact… except maybe for my heart.”

Because of the accident, I had to go to a different chiropractor. On the wall was a picture of a waterfall with this saying: “In life what sometimes appears to be the end is really a new beginning.”

I had so many endings in July. Some I didn’t handle that well. I was right about the inevitable breakthrough though. It did come on July 29. A day for me that will go down in history as “Beginning Again.” Proving that endings can be new beginnings.

Elizabeth Fabiani Higgins is the founding Assistant Editor of the Christian Woman’s Page. She likes sitting on river banks, looking for rocks, quilting, writing, traveling and being a mom. Liz has enjoyed writing a lot on being single and Christian, but she is much happier now that she is married.